Read a blog that triggered this response from me. It's real. It's how I feel and I've never expressed it. But today I am.
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I always thought I would have children. I don’t.
I cry every time I watch someone give birth on a TV show or movie. Not tears of joy, but tears of loss. I get depressed on Mothers Day and the holidays, when I sit, like you, and watch moms with their children … and even worse when I attend a baby shower and all the moms talk about how amazing being a mom is… And I have nothing to contribute. Nothing.
I’ve been told that I have lot to be thankful for… that I have “so much” others don’t. But that doesn’t help with the emptiness, the pain, the grief. As it’s a loss of a hope, a dream and a belief I would be a mom.
I am grateful for my life, but seek to fill voids as I enter this new season (thanks heathers mom – I like that phrase).
Part of filling that void (for me) is to spend time with the children in my life via my friends and family, and be sure I am an awesome auntie.
I may end up with Children in my life in another way... But I may not. That ache will probably always be there. And if I had an answer to how to take it away I would tell you. I swear, I would.
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Life is short, don't wait for your dreams to come true. Make them come true.